Careless or sheepish,
It wasn’t fair.
Either way you looked at her,
She tried not to care.
She walked with shame tied
With a lock around her brain,
She just couldn’t point the blame.
Every time she tried
To see everything as lie,
She couldn’t help but cry.
Was he using her?
Did they care?
Was it fate that led her there?
How she wishes it was different.
How she wishes she could disappear.
To forget the ideas that led to this fear.
She tries to be prudent,
She tries to just be,
To exists in her world of pure irony.
Yet she wallows in this mess that she made
Because she can’t forget all the prices she payed.
All the hearts that she broke,
All the lives she destroyed.
Is there anything left in this wicked void?
If she keeps her heart empty,
If she tries to ignore
The past that has languished because of her poor
Judgement and vision and reasons to refuse
A life of stability, a life of truth.
Then maybe the thoughts that haunt her
In every daylight,
Will finally release from the confines of her mind.
If she could just find the key,
If she could just loosen the chains,
She may be able to live again.
But try as she might to untie this mess,
She knows that her effort is less and less.
She just can’t explain
Why she won’t let go of the pain.
But she can’t
She can’t
She just can’t.


About Robyn

"If you haven't known insanity, you haven't lived."
This entry was posted in Recollecting India, Recovery (USA) and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s